Drunk Gambler’s Weekend Gambling Guide – Kentucky Derby and Game 7’s!Noah Williams
I have a six-pack worth of strange brew ideas in my noggin and the best weekend gambling guide for you lovable boozing sports nuts. It’s a stacked weekend, folks so let’s get down to the brass tax in boomsville. Avoid a financial hangover and chug down my favorite picks this weekend!
Danza’s The Boss at the 2014 Kentucky Derby
Everybody on the planet loves this horse California Chrome and I guess that makes sense. People love Google, Chrome is a Google product and the company is based in Silicon Valley. That’s why people love this colt, right? It’s just the name, not the four races he’s won in dominant fashion or the fact he’s the favorite is it?
I’m just jerking your mint juleps here. California Chrome is the nastiest thing on four legs I’ve ever seen (get your head out of the gutter…arms don’t count as legs). I’m a bit old fashioned when it comes to the Kentucky Derby, so I like the outside favorites and there’s nobody I prefer more than Danza at +800. This awesomely trained steed is not only (maybe not) named after one of my 80’s sitcom heroes, he’s also saddled by Tom Pletcher.
In case you missed it – screw Mint Juleps. If you want to get really fancy, drink an old fashioned. You don’t need an occasion to drink something if you really want to. You know why we don’t’ drink Mint Juleps all year round? Because they’re gross.
Hard To Make $ When Betting On Money Mayweather
The grim reaper eating my soul, Uncle Sam getting his dirty fingers in my wallet, my ex-wife screwing all my friends and Floyd Mayweather beating the hell out of whomever he’s fighting are the surest things in life.
It takes a ton to bet on Mayweather, who’s clocking in at -1400, but of everything I’m listing here in my weekend gambling guide, he’s the only lock on the board. He’ll probably be celebrating with my ex-wife after the fight too!
Saturday will be the 1st day in NBA history with 3 Game 7s on the same day.
I’m gonna do these games in the order that they appear on my NBA schedule thing here because, well, it’s Friday and I’ve already started drinking. I love Atlanta +6.0 over Indiana because these damn Pacers can’t seem to care enough to close out the worst team in the playoffs. Sure, David West “exploded” to save his team in Game 6 and people are acting like he did something special. You know what would’ve been special? IF HE HAD DONE THAT IN GAMES 1 AND 2 AND 3 AND 4 AND 5 AS WELL.
Elsewhere, the Memphis Grizzlies are gonna try and steal Oklahoma City’s Thunder by grinding them in to a pulp. Problem? When the Thunder play at their worst, they’re severely mortal. When they’re even remotely close to touching the rim of their potential, they’re the scariest team in the playoffs. I’m taking Oklahoma City -7.5 in my weekend gambling guide, but it’ll take a Fireball in my gullet to keep my nerves from handing me a seizure.
In the last game of the night, there’s a huge battle between the Clippers and Warriors and honestly I still can’t totally trust Los Angeles. There’s too much pressure on them to win, and Golden State has been in these dogfights aside from a Game 5 blowout by Chris Paul and company. The Warriors are 4-2 ATS in this series so far, and that’s enough for me to shove my money their way this Saturday as +7.0 point dogs.
MLB Betting – Milwaukee Brewers vs. Cincinnati Reds (5/2 – 5/4)
How can I hate a team called the “Brewers” when they’re 20-9 SU? Milwaukee continues to chug wins and belch out covers and are locked in an intense division rivalry series with the Cincinnati Reds. I prefer Milwaukee on the moneyline in most of these games as a grind play, but if you’re going to take Cincinnati, then hatch them as a runline bet of your own. This is the best way to eat up your afternoon all weekend if you don’t feel like pretending to like your friends’ bratty children during May barbecues. That’s why it wraps up my weekend gambling guide for y’all